Living Death

by Miscreant

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1.
Desolation 03:43
What's the point in living life? When everything I think is outta' spite Suicide is corrupting my head Placing all these thoughts of being dead! Feeling hollow with my empathy of life It's all just smoke and mirrors The walls I built have broken down. They'll say I was just a kid who always wanted more I've never been accepted, just been misdirected. You'll hear me drag the chair You'll see me with the rope Shut my door and keep it closed No one will ever know! This could be my farewell I tie the noose around my throat Now take that final step I'll breaking my fucking neck! I am too scared to do it Leave me alone! Should I fucking do it? Just let me die! I barely reached the surface, forever out of sight. I am terrified of my own mind I resent this affliction Douse my fire and placate this addiction. All I deserve is a coffin six feet beneath the ground I hide all my feelings, replaced with a smile But under that pretence, I've been dead for a while.
2.
Nightmares 03:24
My nightmares have come for me Stuck in the dark is where I’m meant to be. My anxiety is building up inside All these demons have got into my mind! Haunted by my past Hell is in my head Self-hatred drove me there. I’ve battled with addiction Even when my world was shaken I rattled a solution. Hell is in my head, I am a dead man drifting. And I prevailed through the fight I live with stubborn might Enlightened by my speech Deception of the weak. Always a burden The past is a grievous beast I feel the dead around me. My freedom comes at a cost I bargained with my demons Forlorn in desolation. Hell is in my head, I am a dead man drifting. Why do these dark visions haunt me? Stay the fuck away!
3.
I just want to be by myself I can’t rely on anyone else I’m trapped here in my fucking mind I’m sick of everyone in my life. I just can’t hide it anymore Believe me when I say that this is something I would die for. I said I’d never be lost and broken But I had already rotted away. I fed the wound that cut me open It cut me open! I’m the definition of suffering Just another piece of shit Pathetic and unloved If I died I’d just fade away. No one knew how I really felt I never knew what to say From the start I was alone With no where to really call my home. I was turned down every time By every siren that sung my song! Disappointment is just my friend We live together till the very end. Maybe it’s time to face the facts I’m alone with bonds that could never last! The friends I once had would stab me in the back Now can you see why my depression lasts? So filled with fucking hate Taste the end of my gun and feel it’s embrace!
4.
Messengers of the dark I am your soulless king Lost relative. The crack in the frame I’m not worth my families name. Fixated on this disconnection! Never quite fit the scheme Always last on the list The kind that’ll never be missed! I’ve watched the years go by There was never a spark in their eyes. Let me fall I’m not worth it all. Let me sink My cancer is the anchor. Let me die I’m just so sick of being alive! Can’t you see all of my wrongs of who I shouldn’t be? Set me free. Can't you see this life is killing me? I know I’m on the edge I know my life's a fucking mess. But I’m more than a reflection I’m the bitter perception. You’re all fakes! Let me fall I’m not worth it all. Let me sink My cancer is the anchor. Let me die I’m just so sick of being alive. Can’t you see all of my wrongs of who I shouldn’t be? Set me free, Can't you see this life is killing me?

credits

released May 6, 2016

Music and lyrics written by Miscreant
Co-written, engineered and produced by George Christie
Mixed and mastered by Gabor Toth

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